Regrets and Things Left Unsaid
by Scribe of Turesa
Summary: I'm scared...Master Splinter died a week ago...we all got in a bad fight last night...Leo...oh God...Leo left us a note...I'm screaming looking at the pipes and water below me,Raph is sobbing...Don he's just standing there...Leo just commited suicide...
1. Chapter 1: Enough

**Disclaimer:No...any possible OCs that might pop up I do own though...**

***For those of you who haven't guessed...Leo is my favorite turtle, soooo unfortunately he has to deal with whatever my brain conjures up..."Sorry Leo"...."Whatever"***

**Chapter 1: Enough**

**Leo's POV...**

I close the door to my room and slowly slide to the floor, sobs tear lose from my chest. I stuff my fist into my mouth to quiet my sobs...Over the last week I've been struggling to hold myself together, I got up Monday like normal, but Master Splinter never came to join me for morning Meditation...I-I went to check on him....found him still in bed...cold...I-I screamed...my brothers were there in an instant. I never got a chance to mourn him other than that scream...it was my duty to take care of my brothers...

I stumble to my feet and walk to to my bed, I pull the quilt that's there over me. Master Splinter made us all quilts last year...each a reflection of ourselves. My is multiple shades of Blue with patches of black, with the acctuall quilting stiches resembling waves or water. I don't know for sure how but the black patches all contain japanese caligraphy. Master Splinter put that in the black patches...letters of love and encouragement for all of us. I run my hands across the symbols taking comfort in the words there. Fighting the pain from the fight I was just in...its normal for Raph and I to fight but...they all...they....they _attacked_ me...Raph...he accused me of doing something to Master Splinter's tea the night before he died....at first I just shrugged it off...he had just lost his father, he was upset...but when Mikey and Donnie started avoiding me...I would go in at night to comfort Mikey from his nightmares...he would push me away and go to Raph....I would come into Don's lab...trying to get him to eat something...he wouldn't touch the food I brought him...I-I began to wonder if I had...if I had put the wrong herb in his tea...did I kill my own father? The words from the fight today left me sobbing again as the rang through my head...

Traitor! Go away! Just die! and more....worse words...

I stumble to my feet and grab a bag...I can't stay here...I can't be in this house...I begin putting things in the bag, my journal, some candles, insense...I roll the quilt up carefully and tie it to the bottom of the bag and put one of my pillows with it. I stumble down stairs after making sure my brothers are asleep and head for the kitchen...I pull out bags of my tea and a few of Master Splinter's favorite mixes, they smell like him...fresh tears stream down my cheeks as I try to focus...I put the tea bags in a plastic bag and put them in my bag, I open the cubard and sob...I reach forward and touch Master Splinter's favorite tea cup...sobs rack me...did I kill my father? I sob and grab my favorite cup and wrap it in newspaper and put it in my bag. I turn to go and stop looking at my brothers' rooms...it doesn't feel right to just leave....I pick up a piece of paper and scrible a note and leave it on the counter...they'll find it...as I pass the fridge and spot the last family picture we all took...April and Casey are there too...I take it and press my fingers to it lightly...tears roll down my cheeks and I choke-down a sob...I put it into my belt...I want it...its all I have left of that happy time...I stumble toward the door and walk out giving the lair one last pain filled look.

I think back to Master Splinter's funeral:

_FLASHBACK**_

_We are standing together. I place Master Splinter's walking stick into the place where a headstone would be. I reach forward and pull Mikey's shaking frame close, needing the comfort as much as he does, he pulls away and clings to Don...I struggle to hold back confused tears as I kneel by the grave of my father._

_"Won't even cry for him," I hear Raph mutter..._

_END FLASHBACK**_

I don't know how long I wander the sewers...but I find myself staring down into the pipes and water below, tears rolling down my cheeks, sobs wracking my frame. I grip the railing.

"Leo!" I hear and turn. Raph is standing at the edge of the catwalk, Mikey and Donnie behind him.

"Leo!" cried Mikey. I turn, grip the rail and jump over it, I'm not going back there...

"LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" I hear them scream before I hit a pipe and darkness claims me.

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	2. Chapter 2: Wishing

**Disclaimer: no..."checks mail" still no..."mutters darkly"**

**Chapter 2: Wishing**

**Mike's POV**

I can't sleep very well, can't stop thinking about what I said to Leo...we really...like _attacked_him...I mean I didn't honestly mean anything I said...but still...Leo doesn't know that... My alarm "beeps" and I sigh and get up. Leo isn't up yet...weird, but ok...I know what I'll do I'll make him those omlets he likes and his favorite tea and bring it to him!!! I rush to the kitchen to do so, sweeping the counter clean quickly, I notice a piece of paper and grab it before it hits the floor and set it on the table, must be one of Don's random notes, he might need it. I finish the omlet and get the tea going. I reach up to grab his cup and freeze when I see that I've pulled out Master Splinter's old cup, tears form before I can stop them...I run my fingers along the rim fighting sobs. I shake my head and reach around for Leo's cup...strangely I can't find it...I shrug it off and grab a spare, his must not have gotten washed yet...kinda ruins the whole apologising thing but oh well. I pour the tea and put both the cup and the plate on a trya and head for Leo's room, it's werid that he still isn't up...

I hear Raph and Don in the kitchen, smell Don starting coffee as I push Leo's door open and peek in.

"Leo? Um...Can I come in?" I call softly," Please? I-I wanted...I brought you breakfast?" No response, I open the door all the way and drop the tray, Leo's things are gone! I'm struggling to process what I'm seeing when Don starts screaming from the kitchen.

Before I know it I'm beside them staring at the note I'm now holding, the piece of paper I put on the table. Three words adorn it:

_I'm sorry.  
-Leo._

What is that supposed to mean? He left for a coupleof days right? He's upset....please oh God don't let this be what I think it is...I've seen enough CSI aso has Don....I look at Raph frantic and then look at Don, eyes pleading. Don scrambles away and grabs his tracker...please let Leo have his Shell-Cell...please...

I don't know how long it takes us to find him,but we do. I've never seen him cry before, he sobbing, gripping that rail like its his life line...please no. I hear Raph call to him, he looks at us.

"Leo!" I sob. Before any of us can move he turns and throws himself over the rail.

I hear myself scream and find myself scrambling forward. I watch in horror as he slams into a pipe and goes limp....nonononononononono....I'm scared...Master Splinter died in his sleep a couple weeks ago...after a bad fight Leo...oh god...Leo just left us a note and I'm staring at the pipes and water below me, clutching Leo's note and I realize I'm screaming...Raph is beside me gripping the rail and...he's sobbing...Raph is sobbing...Don is just standing there...Leo just jumped...my big brother just committed suicide...My brain won't work. I sag to the ground sobbing. I shouldn't have gone to bed last night...I should've gone straight to Leo...We look for hours but don't find his body I find myself in his room and curl onto the bed, sobbing.

"I'm sorry Leo...I'm so sorry..." I sob out," I didn't mean any of it...I didn't mean it..."

Leo's gone...like my father...

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	3. Chapter 3: Loss

**Disclaimer: no..."hugs an irritated Leo"**

**Chapter3: Loss**

**Don's POV**

Nothing prepares you for death....there isn't a guide book to how to deal with it...there isn't a formula for it...its just there...and you have to deal with it...losing the only parent you've ever had is hard...waking up to your oldest brother's scream, announcing that death, is even harder...Last night...I found myself caught up in a vicious fight against my oldest brother...some of the things that were said were...unspeakably nasty...

I woke up this morning to Mikey cooking in the kitchen, I came out just as Mike headed for Leo's room, it was weird that he wasn't up yet...but I don't blame him for avoiding us after last night. Don't blame him he dosen't talk to us for days... I get the coffee going and sit at the table, trying to decide how to appoligise to Leo...how to tell him I never meant those things when I see the piece of paper. I grab it and glance at it, then freeze...my blood runs colder than normal...I stand up and start screaming...I don't even know what I'm saying...I just know I'm screaming...I know a suicide note when I see one...seen enough CSI shows....

Raph grabs the note and stares at it, seconds later Mike takes it from him and then looks at both of us, I've stopped screaming, but I'm shaking like crazy. I find myself grabbing the tracker and praying that Leo has his Shell-Cell. I vaguely remember Mike muttering something about "not in his room things are gone" I don't think he knows he even said it. It seems like years before we find Leo.

I find that I can't move, I can't speak. I watch Leo in horror as he looks at us, tears streaming down his cheeks, he's sobbing, gripping that rail. His eyes lock with mine for an instant, I'll never forget the pain, the _agony_ in his eyes...I helped break my brother's heart...

I hear Raph and Mike call his name, I can't even open my mouth...The next thing I know Leo throws himself over the rail and I hear myself scream and find myself at the rail staring down in horror...I see his body hit the water and go under...I hear my remaining brothers crying...I can't even cry...all I can do is stare in shock at that water...

I vaguely remember looking for Leo's body remember going home empty handed and colapsing at the table, sobbing. I helped kill my brother...

I look up to see Raph on the phone, he's sobbing he can't even talk. He stumbles off toward Leo's room, I'm crying too hard to move now, my brother is gone...I don't know how long I sit there. Over the last week we've all kinda just stopped talking to Leo...if I didn't know better I'd have though Leo was Catatonic...but no...he spoke to us....took care of us...h-he...made sure we had food...but it was like part of him died with Master Splinter...he practically shut-down...I remember him at breakfast, he'd just sit there...clutching his tea cup...he wouldn't speak...he barely spoke to us all week...

I remember some nights he'd bring food in to me and stand there, I was so upset...I barely noticed him...by the time I saw the food it is was cold and he had left...Mike started coming to Raph or I at night instead of Leo...I'm not sure why...maybe Mike sensed how shook Leo was...didn't want to rattle him more...I don't know...I'm starting to think that Leo believed Raph...about doing something to Master Splinter's tea...which means that me not eating....OH GOD! He thought....he thought...he thought we didn't trust him....and last night's fight...we killed him...I've his blood on my hands...we made him think...made him think we hated him...

New tears and a fresh wave of sobs hit me, someone pulls me into a hug and I cling to them...it April...she's talking to me....

"Oh Don..." She whispers. I cling to her, I can't talk I just shake my head and cry...Leo I'm _so_ sorry...

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	4. Chapter 4: Hate

**Disclaimer: not mine..."If wishes were turtles...Ninja turtles" ;)**

***Sorry for the random drop of the face of the planet...I nearly killed my computer...but it's fine now***

**Chapter 4: Hate**

**Raph's POV**

Ever hated yourself? I mean down right _hated_ yourself? Like you feel you shouldn't be allowed to live because of what you did or said? I killed Leo...I _killed_him...I might not have put my Sai through his heart or slit his throat...but I tore his heart out...I broke my brother's heart...convinced him that he killed Master Splinter....made him think I didn't trust him...didn't need him...

I woke up yesterday after the fight with Leo...and I barely remember anything from that morning other than Leo throwing himself over the rail, I have flashbacks of it...I close my eyes and I see Leo jumping....his head hitting that pipe and him disappearing under the water...we still haven't found his body...its been over a day...

Mikey sleeps in Leo's bed all wrapped up in the quilt Master Splinter made him...Don won't come out of his room, he's got the door locked, I forced my way in the other day and took anything he could use to hurt himself...just in case...I don't think I can handle losing someone else...I think I'll snap...Mikey hasn't eaten since he saw Leo jump...neither has Don....I don't want to lose them...I don't deserve to take care of them though after what I did...I wish Leo would've killed me instead of himself...I'm sitting at the table, staring down at our family photo album...the picture I'm looking at is of Leo...its one of the few times he actually _smiled_...it was taken last Christmas..._his_ last Christmas...I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up.

Its April, before I can stop her she hugs me. I find myself falling apart and cling to her, tears pouring down my face. I fight the sobs until she hugs me tighter and starts rubbing my carapace, then I can't help but sob.

"I-I-I miss 'im April...I-I want 'im ta' come back...I-I can't believe said that to 'im April...I want my brother back," I get out between sobs. April just holds me and rubs my carapace. I can't stop the tears now and all I can do is cry. When I finally cry myself dry...I pull away and wipe my face.

"Raph...its not-" April starts.

'I TOLD 'IM THAT STUFF! I DROVE 'IM TO IT! SO DON'T TELL ME ITS NOT MY FAULT!" I look away ashamed of my outburst, but I can't help it...I killed him...

"Raph...it was h-his decision to jump...he saw you all there remember? He saw you all try to stop him...he made his decision," April says softly as she makes me look at her," R-Raph...he was depressed _before_ Master Splinter died..."

I feel my eyes widen and look at her in shock. I shake my head desperately.

"No...not Leo he's stronger than that...what would he-why would he have been?" I gasp out.

"He never told me...he just asked me to get a hold of some meds for him...he said he's had problems with it since he was a kid," April replies. I can't think...my "perfect" brother had problems with depression?

"So what I said to 'im...April...if he was...the things I said...it only made it worse," I gasp. She shakes her head.

"He was on the Meds Raph I made sure everyday I made sure he took them," She comforts, she points to the picture I was looking at," He got those Meds in his system a few weeks before I took this...he was happy Raph...genuinely happy...he has been...since he's been on those. Raph he loves you guys...he envied you ya know...your strength." I look at her startled.

"He said you were stronger than him," she whispered," emotionally Raph not physically...he said you could at least control your anger he couldn't control his depression...he looked up to you Raph."

"And I hurt 'im," I whisper. She puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Raph-" she starts.

"I. HURT. HIM!" I get out," I-I...he needed me...us and we turned our backs on him...April...we hurt 'im so bad...we said things... I hit 'im...I nearly beat 'im...during that fight...we let him DROWN!" I get and pull away...I find myself running in the sewers and I start searching frantically for any sign of Leo...any sign. I_ need_ to find him...I _have_ to...if there is even the slightest chance he lived...I have to tell him I love him...I have to apologise...

Leo please be alive...please...

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	5. Chapter 5: Pain

**Disclaimer: Still no...**

**;)**

**Chapter 5: Pain**

**Leo's POV (yeah he's alive)**

I don't know where I am...or even how I got here...all I know is that my head is killing me....the blankets are warm and two green eyes are staring at me. I blink and a little girl about six years old with curly brown hair is sitting in front of me, eyes huge in awe.

"SARAH!! ITS AWAKE!" shrieks the little girl in front of me. I grimace in pain and groan. My head feels like its going to split in two. The girl gets up and runs off. I moan and try to get up only to find that my body dosen't like that plan. My head feels heavy and I can't move it. I hear the little girl calling excitedly down the hall.

"SARAH!! THE BIG TURTLE IS AWAKE!!!" she exclaims,"COME ON!! HURRY!!! IT'S _AWAKE_!!"

I make another attempt to get up and fail miserably, I can't move. Panic sets in...where am I? My things?!? I somehow get up onto my elbows and then nearly throw up as a wave of nausea hits me and my head recieves a streak of blinding pain across my skull. My arms buckle and I flop onto the matress below me, groaning loudly before I can stop it.

"Anna hush!" I hear a woman order,"Quiet down,dear you've probably scared him. Go play with the others. Now Anna, you can come see the turtle later."

"But?" I hear the little girl protest," Fine but I wan'na see the turtle." She sounds sad and I can't help but smile a little, despite the pain I'm in.

Moments later, as I'm making yet a another attempt to get up, a woman around her forties cames into the room I'm in. I've now noticed that the lights are off and one lamp is on covered so that it is very dim. I'm on a matress on the floor covered in multiple blankets.

"No," she says firmly, like she's talking to a dog, "No, lay down big guy." I struggle not to pass out as I try to pull away from her. I'm more than a little scared...I remember my brothers seeing me jump...seems they left me to die after all...who knows what this woman will do to me...

"Shush...shshsh...its ok...I won't hurt you...its ok...lay down," her voice is gentle and my head hurts so much...I'm tired and my arms are shaking badly. I calapse and curl up.

"M-M-My b-ba-bag," I gasp out, it hurts to talk...it hurts to move...my head...

"Shh...your stuff is right here. Your things are fine, that cup isn't broken...your quilt is one of the blankets you're covered with...shhh...rest. Its alright...shhh," Sarah tells me and she hands me my battered bag. I pull it close and hug it. I lay still drifting off, my head still throbing painfully. I hear Sarah leave and reach into the bag and find my journal inside the cover is the family picture...water stained but there. Tears flow anew and a soft sob makes its way out...they left me to die...

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	6. Chapter 6: Grief

**Disclaimer: still no..."mutters angrily"**

**Chapter 6:Grief**

**Mike's POV**

Its been three weeks since Leo jumped. I miss him so much...I never stop thinking, wondering if I had gone to him that night if he would've...if he'd still be alive...we still haven't found his body...Raph goes and looks everyday...stays out until after three in the morning...comes home so drunk he passes out on the floor. Gets up the next day and look for Leo again...repeats the process. Don's afraid he'll get alcohol poisoning...Don goes with Raph in the morning...helps him look...comes home around three and sits with me...I haven't left Leo's room since that morning...can't bring myself to.

"Mikey," I hear Don whisper. I look up, he's holding a box of pizza.

"April says we have to eat...Raph got this and told me to head home...Mikey please say something," he whispers. I haven't spoken since that morning...don't trust myself to. I'm sitting on Leo's bed wrapped in the quilt Master Splinter made me last Christmas. I miss Leo so much...I feel so horrible for what I said to him last...I told him I hated him...I never ment it...I loved him...he's my brother...

Don sits by me and pulls me close, I realize I'm crying..that he is too.

"I miss him too Mikey," he whispers, I feel a tear hit my cheek and I know it's Don's. April comes by later, Don has managed to coax me into eating a slice of pizza but I'm really not hungry...

Don is downstairs, I can hear him and April talking.

"Has he eaten today Don?" I hear April ask.

"I managed to get him to eat a piece of pizza, but...He won't talk April he won't say anything," I hear Don sob. Their voices are muffled after that so I can't hear them. I don't know how much time goes by for sure, but I hear Raph come in, drunk and sobbing. Apologising to Don for not finding Leo again...I feel tears roll down my cheeks, both for Raph and for the fact that Leo still doesn't have a proper resting place. I hear Raph stumble up the stairs and he pauses at Leo's room. I look up and see him leaning against the door frame. He's crying, his eyes are bloodshot, he's lost weight...a lot of weight...he doesn't eat much either. I just look at him. He closes his eyes and looks away.

"Didja eat somthn mky?" he slurrs. I nod. He sighs and sobs. To my surprise he staggers over to me and clutches me into a hug.

"Do'n leav me mky,' I hear him sob,"pls." I feel tears roll down my cheeks and nod, leaning into Raph. He falls asleep a few minutes later and curls beside me, on the floor, he won't sleep in Leo's bed like I do. He won't even sleep in his _own_bed... Don comes in later and covers Raph up. He sits next to me and hugs me. I let him and lean into it a little.

"Go to sleep Mike," he says softly. I nod and lay down. Don sits by me untill I start to drift off, i feel him get up and leave. He can't stay in Leo's room very long, he just breaks down when he's in here. I'm started to find him back a few minutes later. He curls up next to me and cries himself to sleep. I curl closer to him and fall asleep soon after.

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	7. Chapter 7: Secret

**Disclaimer: ya know the drill...**

**Chapter 7: Secret**

**Leo's POV**

I'm not sure how long I've been here, but my head is slowly healing; it still hurts, a lot, though. The room that I'm in is kept dark, when Anna turned the light on before it felt like my head was exploding and as if someone had put red-hot pokers into my eyes. Trust me it hurt. I glance toward the door, Anna is peeking around the corner. She grins when she sees me and rushes in. She's clutching a fluffy black kitten to her, its eyes are yellow and it looks annoyed. she drops it in front of me.

"Who's this," I whisper, gently stroking the ruffled kitten. It "mews" and starts purring, curling up to me and eyeing Anna nervously.

"I named 'im Sha'ow,"she giggles," Don't tell Sarah...shhh! he's a se'ret." I raise an eye ridge and smile a little. I've found out I'm currently another resident of the New Hope Orphanage and pets aren't allowed. Anna and the other kids are constantly attempting to sneek animals in to which Sarah and Jeff, one of Sarah's coworkers, are forced to remove the animal and endure many tears. Anna isn't supposed to be in here anyway, she's supposed to be with the other kids.

"Hmmm well..I guess he can stay with me for now," I whisper. The kitten is sound asleep against me, purring quietly. I'm propped up on two pillows and wrapped in blankets...last time I tried to sit up...I passed out. Anna plops down next to me and hugs me. She heard me crying the first night and came in and hugged me...she taken it upon herself that I need a friend and that she was going to be it. I smile and find myself hugging her back...it feels good to be hugged. Before April got me the Meds for my depression I despretly sought Master Splinter's arms as comfort. He would hold me close as I wept...not even sure why most times...a lot of the time it was after a bad fight with Raph, like the fight just shattered my heart and I needed support. Master Splinter, helped me "keep my head above the waves" so to speak...he was my life preserver...when he died...even with the Meds I was taking...I couldn't...it was like I wasn't on them again...

"You better get back," I whisper. she nods gets up. I shake my head as she skips off humming happily. I glance at the kitten, he growls when I try to move him but scoots over. I miss my brothers...even if they don't miss me...Mikey never knew it but he always lifted my spirit with his pranks on Raph, most of the time it made me want to smile a little. Donnie...he always...just how calm he always was...it was comfort enough. Raph...his strength...I wish I had it...the strength to face myself...

Something rough brushes my cheek and I open my eyes. The kitten is purring and licking my tears away.

"What?" I ask softly. He purrs and rubbs his face against mine, cuddling closer after he comes under the covers. I doze off to the sound of his purrs.

I wake to the kitten's "mew" of protest.

"No," I beg. Sarah stops, holding the kitten. I look at her, pleading. she sighs and sets the kitten down. I wrap an arm around him and pull him close.

"All right, but he stays in this room," she orders," you're too old to be in an orphanage anyway...so technically the rules don't apply to you." I smile.

"Don't tell Anna that, I'll have a room full of cats," I chuckle then wince, as a flash of pain tears across my head. Sarah smiles.

"Oh trust me it's out secret, how's your head Leo?" she asks as she tips my head to the left gently, examining the bandages that cover a four inch wide by nearly six inch long gash. I wince.

"Hurts," I mutter.

"Well we'll change the bandages later and see how its healing ok?" she says softly. I nod a little and rest my head back on the pillow.

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	8. Chapter 8: Fear

**Disclaimer: again I say...no...**

**Chapter 8: Fear**

**Don's POV**

Over the last three weeks I've watched my remaining brothers fall apart...Raph...he drinks when he can't find Leo's body...that's everyday so far...Mikey barely eats and he won't talk...Raph won't eat much either...he won't touch food until he knows we've eaten...then he eats what's left...when he's sober anyway. We all fell asleep in Leo's room last night. Mikey hasn't left and I've already tried getting him to eat this morning, he just shook his head and refused. It hurts how much Mike has changed...We were all upset over Master Splinter's death...but when Leo...it's like Mike just stopped...Raph...he keeps blaming himself...if he can't find Leo he just comes home, collapses at my feet, and apologizes until I make him go to bed...he won't even eat...I do my best to make sure his hangovers aren't too bad...anything to make him feel a little better...I honestly miss his attitude and hot temper lately...

I glance up from the table. Raph is standing by Leo's chair his hand on it, trembling. I get up and touch Raph's arm lightly. He looks at me, his amber eyes are dull and blood shot. I fight tears and sigh.

"We'll find him Raph, we'll give him a proper burial," I whisper.

"He's alive Don," Raph mumbles. He looks desperate. Finding out Leo looked up to him, he took Leo's suicide even harder. I think that's why he drinks after not finding him. I know April meant well but what she told Raph just made things worse.

I sigh...the probability of Leo surviving the fall, the blow to the head, and surviving this long with that injury, or even not drowning after being knocked unconscious is slim to none...Leo's tough...but this is pushing it...who's to say if he failed in his first attempt that he didn't...finish the job? I hate to think it...it scares me that I do...I _want_ Leo to be alive...I just know the odds are against it...I want to be able to tell Leo sorry...I want to see him again.

We scour the area below where Leo jumped and around it, Raph heads off down a main water line and I follow, searching the opposite side. We reach the river drainage area and Raph starts searching the bank. This is the fifth branch off direction we've searched, the other areas we searched went under ground farther. The possibility that Leo might've gotten out here means that...my stomach twists...some random fisherman could've found him and...its all I can do not to throw up...Leo could be in a science facility right now...being dissected...we wouldn't know if he was found the TV has been off and so has the news...

Raph looks at me...he's thinking the same thing..I can see it in how he just got really pale.

"Don go home, make Mikey eat...I'll keep looking," he whispers it, but I know its an order. He doesn't want me out here...seeing or thinking about this...he wants to look for Leo alone...

"Raph," I whisper,"Don't drink tonight...please." He looks at me sadly but nods. I head home and try to think of something to make for Mikey and I to eat...and hope Raph doesn't come home drunk tonight...its hard to see him that way...so broken...

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	9. Chapter 9: Hope

**Disclaimer: checks mail...still no..."grumbles darkly"**

**Chapter 9: Hope**

**Raph's POV**

Don left an over an hour ago...back to take care of Mikey...I wish he'd speak...heck I wish he'd play a prank on me...Don's just as worried as I am. I made Don promise not to do anything to himself...its Mikey I'm worried about...I slip and end up covered in mud. My head throbs painfully...stupid hangover...Leo would've beat my butt and left me to suffer for drinking like I've been. At the thought of him I tear up and quickly wipe the tears away. I miss him...I could go for one of his letures about now...I sit up and sigh, wiping the mud from my plastron. My eyes catch sight of something I've longed to see in the past three weeks. Leo's mask, a patch of blue in the mud. I scramble forward and scoop it up, tears rolling down my cheeks. I look around and see rough looking foot prints...booted foot prints...Leo...who took him?

I scramble to my feet and then stop, in the mud, just outside of the area where I fell are two, three fingered, hand prints, as if they were pulling someone out of the water. Leo was alive...

I turn and sprint for home clutching Leo's masks in one hand. Hangover forgotten.

"DONNIE!!! MIKEY!!!! COME HERE!" I shout as I reach the lair. Don comes shooting out of the kitchen and to my surprise and joy Mike steps out of Leo's room, blue eyes questioning.

"Raph what? What is it?" Don demands. I open my hand.

"PrintshandthreefingersLeoalive!!" I get out in a rush. Don looks at me in confusion for a minute, then he grins. Mikey is by my side holding Leo's mask and trembling. He looks at me I repeat what I told Don.

"Mikey, I found hands prints in the mud...Leo's alive," I say softly. Mikey's face slowly forms into a small smile. I've never been so happy to see him smile.

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	10. Chapter 10: Chores

**Disclaimer: unfortunately I still do not own the Cheolian Shadow Warriors**

**Chapter 10: Chores**

**Leo's POV**

It's been almost two months since I jumped. My head has healed enough that I can handle moving around. Sarah has given me a list of things to do, while the kids are in bed for the night, she says I'm still not ready to handle 300 excitable kids. I can barely handle Anna coming in and demanding that I read her a story before bed. She's a sweet kid but she like _clings_ to me. I'm currently doing dishes right now.

"Mew?" I look over and spot Shadow sitting under the table and sigh. The little fluff ball is smarter than he looks, he figured out how to open my door...when its _locked_.

"What do you think you're doing?" I hiss. He gives me an innocent look. I sigh, shake my head, and go back to doing the dishes. I hear someone come into the kitchen and glance up. A girl around twelve years old is staring at me, she is holding the hand of a three year old boy.

"Han'a hwy a twrle in'a kitken?" the boy yawns. I bring a finger to my lips and smile. I quickly dry my hands off and turn to face them.

"Hi," I say softly. The girl looks at me and then smiles.

"You must be Leo," She says after a minute,"Sarah said you were different. I'm Hannah, this is Jimmy." I blink and then smile.

Sarah officially adopted me a week ago...I'm now Hamato Leonardo Johnson or Leonardo Hamato-Johnson however you want to say it, I couldn't give up my father's name...even if my brothers never want to see me again I'm still a son of Splinter. Sarah was furious when I finally worked up the nerve to tell her what had happened, furious that anyone could do that to another...the next day she told me she wrote out an official adoption record making me her son. I cried alot that night but for the first time it wasn't from pain...I was crying because I was _happy_, I was part of a family again and for the first time in my life I had a _mother_.

"Yeah, I'm Leo," I reply softly.

"Han'a teh twrle is talk'n," Jimmy yawns. Hannah and I both smile. I drop down to Jimmy's level. He's a red-head and Hannah has strawberry-blond hair, and hazel eyes.

"Well, hello Jimmy," I say softly. His brown eyes get huge. He looks at me and then at Hannah.

"Han'a! Han'a! Teh twrle!!! Ia twlk to mey!!" Jimmy exclaims. Hannah laughs and I chuckle. He looks at me and grins.

"I wke twrles!" Jimmy says softly, he touches the bandages on my head,"Wah hap'n?"

"Hurt my head," I say softly.

"Yau fall dwn?" he asks. I smile sadly, remembering what I tried to do.

"Yea, I fell down," I say softly. He suddenly hugs me.

"Ia feel betr?" he asks as he lets go. I can't help but smile a little more.

"Yes its feels better, thank-you," I reply. Dang this kid is cute, I want to pick him up and hug him.

By the times I get them back to bed, the water for the dishes is cold and I have to refill the sink.

"Mew?" I glance down, Shadow is weaving in and out of my legs, purring and demanding attention. I scoop him up and smile, nuzzling him and sighing as I scratch behind his ears. He purrs all the louder. As the water finishes filling I set him back on the floor, he mews in protest but I let it go, I've got chores to finish up.

It's about 10:30 when I get done with my list, my head is starting to ache and I'm getting tired. I walk to the stairs and lean against the window, I miss running the streets at night. Sarah did give me the security code...not tonight...I'm still healing...it would be bad if I passed out running...I can do a few Katas for a light workout though. I pick up Shadow and put him on my bed before picking up my swords. Sarah had been stunned to find that I was a ninja, she thought it was cool. Said she was into martial arts when she was a kid, she stopped taking lessons when she turned thirteen though.

I walk out into the living room and start a series of Katas, my swords twisting around me. I don't hear someone come in I'm too focused.

"WOW!!" I hear someone gasp. I stop and turn, instantly into a defensive stance. Three teen boys are staring at me, jaws hanging open.

Oh crap...

"That was Awesome!!!" one gasps.

Oh crap...

"You're a turtle!" gasps the third boy.

Oh crap...Mom's going to kill me....I'm not supposed to be training...

"SHHH!" I hiss frantically,"You'll wake everyone up!" I quickly sheath my Katanas and make shushing motions. Sarah walks in behind the excited boys and raises an eye brow at me. I groan inwardly....crap...I'm busted....

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	11. Chapter 11: Searching

**Disclaimer: ...rubs lamp and a jennie comes out....I grin "My first wish is I want to own the ninja turtles"...the jennie blinks "Sorry can't do that" "WA?...dang it...still no...**

**Chapter 11: Searching**

**Mikey's POV**

When Raph brought Leo's mask home it was like Christmas morning. We called April and Casey and celebrated the fact that Leo was still living....that was a while ago now...its been nearly two months since Leo jumped. I still haven't spoken yet, I want the first words I say to be to Leo...telling him how sorry I am...

We've been breaking into every facility that could possibly house Leo in the city, starting of course with the Foot and the Puprle Dragons, they don't have him and Don says there are no records of Leo bing in either place. Don's been hacking into the security records of every scientific facility, every pooisble building that could have Leo in it, he calapsed in exhaustion the other day. Raph and I found him asleep at his desk. Raph has been training like a maniac, I don't think Leo even trained like Raph has been...its scary...I guess Raph is just desprete to find Leo...and if someone has him chained up...Raph will probably kill them...me? I've been scouring the sewers and helping Raph search the streets...we haven't found any sign yet but so far...things are better at home we've focused on finding Leo...I just hope he lets us bring him home...I glance up as Raph walks into the kitchen.

"Ya' k Mike?" Raph asks. I nod. I wrote out my reason for not talking...they accepted it but Raph was frustrated with me for quite a while. He's finally putting weight back on...it was scary how much he lost...at least he's not drinking anymore...

"Go get Don I got something to tell ya," Hes says quietly. I look up, asking with my eyes. He just smiles and shooes me off. I rush to Don and drag him out of his lab and back. Don is laughing running with me by the time we get there.

"Well? What?" Don demands.

"Remember that Orphanage on West Street?" Raph says slowly.

"Yeah so?" Don demands.

"He's in there...saw him standing in the window," Raph says softly. I touch Leo's mask on Raph's wrist. Raph nods.

"Are you sure?" Don gasps.

"Don...how many mutant turtles are in New York City?" Raph asks with a smirk. I laugh and Don grins.

"Where were you?" Don asks suddenly.

"On the fire escape just out of sight, if I hadn't stopped to catch my breath I would've missed him," Raph replies," I was practically sitting on top of him."

Don grins and dashes off to start hacking into the security system.

I hug Raph so tight he gasps for breath.

"Mikey, bro let me go! I can't breathe!!" Raph gasps, I let go. Raph rubs his ribs. I can't but do something, I start dancing around the lair and letting out loud "whhooops".

Leo!!!! We found him!!!!

I only hope he lets us talk to him....

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	12. Chapter 12: Found

**Disclaimer: Do I own Ninja turtles?..."Looks around room"...No....."mutters darkly"**

**Chapter 12: Found**

**Don's POV**

Raph Found Leo!!!! He found him!!! I've been working on hacking into the Orphanage's security system since last night, Raph said Leo looked healthy, tired maybe, but healthy, he also said that Leo's head was wrapped up. I actually got in a few hours ago, now I'm just searching the rooms for Leo.

There are at least three hundred kids here and Leo isn't in the rooms I've check so far. then I spot him walking in the hall way, he looks half asleep. I smile, he's wearing a blue mask, must've grabbed a couple of his spares when he packed his bag. I watch him approach a room off to the side and realize it's a walk in closet...with a mattress, a desk, and a small book shelf...the closet looks like the shelves and racks had been removed and the room had been recently painted...a private room, like it was permanent. It wasn't small by any means, walk in closets can be huge for goodness sake, but it was definitely smaller than his old room. I watch as Leo flops into the bed and curls up, dragging the quilt master Splinter made him over his head. I can't help but laugh when I see a black kitten pounce on him and he peeks out of the covers long enough to shot the kitten a warning look. It mews and sneaks under the covers. He rolls his eyes and curls back up, the door explodes open.

_"REO!!! WAKE UP!!!" shriek two kids. A little boy and a little girl, they pounce on him and I hear Leo grunt._

_"Wak up!!!! Wak up!! Sa'a says yau wah'n us to'y!! Reo!!!" the little boy wines. The little girl bounces on Leo and giggles when he growls._

_"Wake Up! Reo!!!" she giggles. They start jumping on him again. Leo grunts._ I realize I'm laughing.

"Don? what in the?" Raph growls. I can only point to the screen, I'm laughing to hard to speak. Mike comes in and starts laughing as the kids continue to try and get a stubborn Leo out of bed.

_"Reo!! I'll paint your finger nails!!! Make them pink!!" the little girl giggles. Leo lifts his head and growls._

_"Don't even think about Anna," Leo hisses._ Raph cracks up beside me. I get a picture of Leo with pink fingernails and laugh all the harder.

_Anna grins mischievously._

_"Reo!! Yau wakey!!" the little boy yells and hugs Leo. The kitten squeezes out from under the covers and shoots over to the desk, hiding underneath._

_"Hey Jimmy , good morning," Leo yawns," alright get off you two." Leo bucks a little, indicating that he wanted them off his back._

_"Piggy back!!" Anna demands._

_"Arghhh," Leo groans, but he grabs her and Jimmy as he gets up, swinging Anna onto his Carapace and holding Jimmy. Anna giggles and clings to him. A woman in her forties peeks in and laughs._

_"All right you two leave him be!" she orders, "Leo showers are fairly free, and your Meds are on the counter in the kitchen, you get to join the gang for breakfast this morning."_

I swear Leo gulped. Oh my gosh...

"Guys?" I hear April call.

"I-in here Ape!" Raph laughs.

"You said you found Leo? What in the world?" she gasps when she sees us laughing. We manage to get the whole story out after a few minutes, leaving Apirl and Casey laughing along with us.

"Well we at least know he's ok," April laughs.

"If you call being a jungle-jim being ok," Casey laughs. I realise Mikey is smiling and smile, its good to see.

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Reviews Please!


	13. Chapter 13: Meetings

**Disclaimer: still no...**

**Chapter 13: Meetings**

**Leo's POV**

I yawn as I head for the showers, my head is throbbing painfully already. I enter the shower room for the boys and hear a collective gasp. I ignore them as I get to a shower head and pull my gear and mask off dispensing them into a rack by the towels.

"Dude! It's...a turtle!" I hear someone say. Others are whispering and I hear a few gasps.

I turn on the shower and let the water hit me, I didn't cool down after my Katas last night so I'm stiff. The water is _freezing! _I shiver and adjust the nobs, a wave of hot water rolls over me, relieving the stiff tension in my muscles. I sigh and grab a bar of soap.

"Hey! LEO!! "I hear someone call.

"Dude! Hey man!," another calls.

"Leo! Mornin' I though Sarah was going to kill you last night," a third greets. I glance their way and groan, its the boys I met last night, Alex, Dan, and Matt.

"Hey guys," I reply, turning to let the water rise my carapace. They take the showers beside me.

"That's all you're taking off?" I hear Alex ask, as he pulls his PJs off. I raise an eye ridge and give him a confused look.

"Like arn't you going to take you're shell off?" I hear Matt ask. I raise my eye ridge higher if possible.

"Yeah I thought turtles could take their shells off," Dan agrees. I laugh and shake my head. They give me a confused look.

"Its a common misconception that turtles can do that, I _can't_ take my shell off," I laugh.

"Oh," they all say quietly. I chuckle and finish rinsing off.

"So like how old are you?"Dan asks.

"Twenty," I reply.

"Seriously?" Alex asks, startled. Dan and Matt look surprised. I nodd.

"Dude, you're like..._old_," Alex says. I laugh again. They start laughing too. I shake my head and head for the kitchen after drying off and putting my things back on, it feels weird not having the weight of my swords on my back, or the feeling of leather across my chest.

When I get to the kitchen my head feels like its trying to rip apart, uhhhg...painkillers now...please...I never used to let Don give me painkillers, but after refusing for three hours with this head injury...I've learned to love painkillers. Jeff greets me when I walk in.

"Mornin, Leo, how's the head?" he asks. I grunt, he chuckles.

I pick of the pill bottles and sigh, Jeff hands me a glass of water and I nod my thanks. Mom got me Antidepressants and painkillers...it took her a while to find something that wouldn't have serious side effects...like possibly killing me because the drugs caused a bad reaction to each other.

I quickly pop two pain pills in and then grab a Antidep. pill before washing them down with water. Jeff taps my arm to get my attention. I glance at him.

"Ok, help me get this stuff going," he orders.

"Um...Jeff...that's not a good idea," I manage. I really shouldn't be allowed near kitchens...I've probably killed the toaster about a million times back home...shesh I _burn_ water for goodness sake...I'm a disaster in the kitchen.

Jeff looks at me and puts his thick arms on the counter, Jeff is bigger...not like obese or anything...but he's thicker...

"Now why not?" he asks.

"I'm a disaster in the kitchen," I mumble, embarassed. Jeff chuckles.

"I think you can handle making sure nothing burns while I whats done out to the kids," he says as he grabs something and leaves before I can protest.

Crap...um...now what? I look over everything nervously and try to figure out what I'm supposed to do. Jeff comes in and grins.

"See? Not so bad," he laughs.

"Heh," I manage. He laughs again and patts my carapace.

"Alright, relax kiddo, go out and grab some grub..." he chuckles. I think I sprinted from the kitchen because he laughs again. I reach the main table and instantly all eyes area on me, I freeze. The room is dead silent.

Mom looks over and smiles.

"Morning honey, come on over here," she urdges. Did she seriously just calll me that? Hello! I'm a twenty year old...erm...man?

Alex, Dan, and Matt grab me and drag me over to Mom. She kisses me on the cheek and has me sit beside her...well no one ever said having a mother wasn't embarassing....now I know how Casey feels when his mom is around...

Dan plopps into the eat beside me and the other two sit beside him. My painkillers are kicking in finally...my head no longer feels like its spliting in two.

Kids are great....but when they feel like using you as a Jungle-Jim and chase you around the living room they tend to lose their cutness...I'm curently hidding from over 200 kids who want me to play with them...my room didn't work...I should get a lock for it...ya know if Master Splinter really wanted us to train he should've put us in a room full of kids...you really learn how to use ninja skills to avoid being seen...

"LEO!" someone shouts. Crap! I sprint out of my spot and head for the living room. They all come running and soon I'm underneath 200 kids. This is definatly worse than fighting the Foot...

I spot Sarah.

"MOM! Save me!" I beg...since when do I cry for mercy? Whatever...somebody help me!!!

"Alright, alright leave him be!" Sarah laughs.

"AWWWW BUT!!!" they all whine. Sarh gives them "the look" and they stop whining.

They let me go and I'm instantly behind Sarah, panting to catch my breath. I'm a ninja for goodness sake why am I hiding behind a woman from kids? Lets just say...I'd rather fight all the Foot and all the Pruple Dragons by myself than be attacked by 200 kids any day. At least I'm allowed to hit the PD's or The Foot.

"Thanks mom," I gasp.

"You're welcome, how's your head?" she replies.

"Fine," I answer. She chuckles and pats my arm.

"Lets go I need some one to help me with nap time with the little ones.

I groan, but follow her...this day just keeps getting better....

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LOL! Oh I'm so stinking mean to Leo...Ahh...anyway reviews please?


	14. Chapter 14: Shock

**Disclaimer: I still don't own The Cheolian Shadow Warriors **

**New Story being Outlined...tell me what you think...its my own spin off of "the guys turn human" thing...**

**"Not The Same"-Leo goes missing for a few Weeks...when the guys finally find him...they get hit with darts...after being sick for days Don calls April...she comes...to find not four turtles...but four humans? Weak and shakey the guys struggle to adjust to their new bodies...will the mall survive four confused young men and a nervous April? Who's the girl who helps Leo after he passes out? **

****Also...my profile will have a teaser for my LD series...take a look and tell me what you think....!!**

**......**

**EEEP!!! I forgot to do this!!!**

**Warning: character death...OC death...**

**Chapter 14: Shock**

**Mikey's POV**

Seeing Leo that...happy...it made me think...will he want anything to do with us after what we told him? Will my brother want to come home to a place where he knows only pain? I couldn't bear that...the thought of knowing he was alive and never being able to see him again...except maybe on the screen of Don's computer....the thought scared me...I wanted Leo to come home...I wanted my brother back...

I find myself sitting on the fire escape outside of the Orphanage where Leo is. He's sitting on the couch, surrounded by kids and holding a book. It looks like he's reading to them. There's a little boy curled up on Leo's lap, wrapped up in a blanket with turtles on it...heh...the kid looks around three years old. Leo glances down at the boy and covers him up better, Leo smiles a little...like he used to when he checked up on us at night...a flicker of pain shoots through my heart...and maybe a pang of jealousy...I want my brother back...I feel a tear roll down my cheek and fight the sobs that are threatening to spill over.

"What are you doing here?" demands a woman's voice. I look up to see the woman from the orphanage. I struggle to figure out what to do...I took an oath of silence untill I got a chance to talk to Leo...

I shake my head and point to Leo...

She looks furious.

"You think you can just take him back after what you did to him?" she spits.

I feel tears roll down my cheeks.

"You killed him...ripped his heart out," she hisses.

I fight more sobbs, seeing Leo slaming into the pipe and sinking into the water.

"Get away from here...if I catch any of you around him or this place...I let Jeff shot you. Hear me? GET!" She shouts, I won't let you hurt my son again!"

I'm sprinting away, sobbs and tears coming easily now. He doesn't want anything to do with us...

When I get home I cling to Raph, sobbing uncontrolably. Desprete for comfort.

"Mikey...we told you to wait..." I hear him whisper. I just sob all the harder...Don puts his hand on my Carapace...

"Oh Mikey," he whispers. But I can hear them crying too...will we ever get a chance to appologize?

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Anyone else have issues logging in this weekend?? Well yeah that's why I didn't update untill now....anyway:

Reviews Please!!!


	15. Chapter 15: Visitation

**Disclaimer:I still don't own the terrapin shadow warriors...**

**The OC death hasn't happened yet for those of you who were trying to figure that out...its coming....the character death not far behind...**

**Chapter 15: Visitation**

**Leo's POV**

I carry Jimmy into his room and lay him in his bed. He clings me, even in sleep and I have to gently pry his hands apart. I cover him up and feel a spark of sorrow...I think of Mikey...his nightmares...no...he has Raph...he stopped coming to me anyway...he said he never wanted to see me again...

I feel tears coming and leave the boys' room. I stumble into in my room and close the door, leaning against it. A soft "mew" makes me look down, Shadow is weaving in and out of my legs, demanding attention. I smile through my tears and scoop him up, pressing my face into his fur. I find myself on my bed, curled under my quilt, and staring at the picture of all of us and wondering how April and Casey are...wonder why they never...looked for me...unless they think I'm dead...

I glance at my calender as I roll over, my birthday is in four days...I think back to last year...for some reason my birthday was overlooked last year...only Master Splinter got me something...I remember waking up and finding that none of them said anything to me...April and Casey didn't even stop by like normal...Mikey didn't make me the breakfast he normally would...Raph didn't even make an attempt to be cordial...Don just vanished into his lab after training and I was left struggling to understand why...I checked the date a million times that day...I wondered if they were planning a surprise party or something...when night came...nothing...Master Splinter left a gift and a note on my bed...but other than that...no recognition of the fact that I was twenty years old...I was so confused...it wasn't long after that that I fell into the deepest depression of my life...

I roll over and hug Shadow, I told Sarah about that, she was so upset...I remember crying as I struggled to explain to her what had happened.

During that depression...I found my self making "mistakes" when I was practicing Katas, leaving thin cuts on my arms or legs...allowing PD's to land blows that I should have easily dodged...found myself giving up in fights with Raph...letting him hit me...I _needed_ to feel that pain...it distracted from my breaking heart...if only for a moment...I was _so_ confused..._so_ desprete to understand why I didn't deserve their love anymore... needing to know what I did wrong...I was drowning in my depression...desretely searching for anything to cling to...Master Splinter was there for me...he held me while I struggled to understand what was happening...I've never felt so alone before that time...like I couldn't speak to anyone...

Then I went to April...I remember going to her after patrol one night and sobbing my heart out against her, telling her I despretely needed help...that I was sick...she somehow got a hold of the Meds I needed by late november...by Christmas I was laughing and enjoying life...I was happy...

Then Master Splinter died...and everything fell apart...the love that I so foolishly thought bound my brothers to me...vanished the second they heard me scream...I was left to drown...frantically reaching out to them and they just pushed me away...blamed me for Master Splinter's death...they let me try to kill myself...

I feel tears forming and rolling down my cheeks...how? why? is all that I can think...I needed them...they didn't want anything to do with me...

I get up and wipe my face dry. I touch the picture and start to rip it up...I can't...Master Splinter is in it...so are April and Casey...I put it down on my desk and walk out to the living room.

"Leo?" I hear mom ask softly. I look at her and lean into the hug she offers.

"I miss them," I whisper," even if they don't." She hugs me and sighs, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I saw one of them today...he was watching you," she whispers. I look up and pull back a little, startled.

"What did he want?" I breathe, anxious and fearful...would they make me go back? I like it here...even if I have to put up with crazy kids for a few hours...I accutally kinda like it...they want to spend time with me...I had to practically beg my brothers to do anything with me...

"I told him to leave...that he wasn't going to hurt you anymore...he left," she replied. I nod...that hurts somehow more than their words...that they would just leave me...

Mom hugs me again and I lean in.

"Leo...I love you," she whispers," tell me what's wrong,"

"I-I...want to visit a couple of friends..." I say quietly. She kisses my forehead again and nods.

"Are you sure?" she replies. I nod.

"Ok, wear your sweatshirt...its chilly tonight...try to beat the rain back...it won't be good for you to get sick while your head is still healing," She whispers. I hug her quickly and slip back to my room, grab a deep blue hooded sweatshirt and pull it on. I grab a pen and quickly write the security code on my forearm before accepting a kiss good-bye.

I step out of the building and smile as I break into a hard jog...reveling in the feeling of wind on my face...it was chilly so I was thankfull for the sweatshirt. I soon reach April's side of town and make my way to her house. I can taste the coming rain and wonder if I'll be able to beat it home...maybe I should've waited until tomorrow...no I'm almost there...April can give me a ride probably...if not I'll just run in the rain...its not like I haven't done it before...

I reach April's place and drop down to the window. I quickly glance inside and then pull the window open and slip in...not a moment to soon it starts pouring the minute I get in...I lean back against the wall and wait. April comes out of her room a minute later and heads for the kitchen. I resist the urge to sneek up and scare her...Mikey used to do that...

"Hey April," I say softly. She nearly jumps out of her skin and turns around quickly. Her green eyes get huge and she stares at me.

"LEO!" she shrieks and the next thing I know she's hugging me and crying.

"We've been worried sick about you...Raph said he saw you alive but I-I...oh Leo!!" she sobs. I tense up...so it was Raph who tried to get me back...I shutter as I remember the viciousness of his words during that fight...the pain of his fists and feet...

A few minutes later we are sitting on the couch, talking quietly.

"Leo...they've been looking everywhere for you..." April says quietly. I snort in laughter.

"Is that what they've been telling you?" I laugh, "They told me they never wanted to see me again...and they won't, I'm happy at New Hope...Sarah and Jeff and those kids are my family now...they _want _me there."

I see the shock on April's face, the hurt.

"L-Leo? You can-" she gasped," Are you serious? You think they don't miss you?"

"I know they don't...they get to forget my birthday and not see me that day...Raph can do his thing...Don can have all the time he wants in his lab...Mikey can play all the video games he wants," I snap back," I don't care anymore...they stopped caring about me a year ago...maybe longer than that."

April just looks at me, I don't make eye contact...it hurts to say it...but thats what they wanted...me to leave...so I'll leave...

"Leo," she whispers. She touches my hand, I resist the urge to pull away.

"Leo," she whispers," Mikey hasn't spoken since he saw you jump...Don hasn't touched his computer except to try and find you...Raph ran himself ragged looking for you...Raph drank himself to a stupor when he couldn't find you...Leo they need you." I stand up.

"THEY DON'T NEED ME! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE TELL YOU THEY HATE YOU!! TO HAVE YOUR HERO TRY TO KILL YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO NEARLY BE BEAT TO DEATH BY THE PERSON YOU LOOK UP TO!!," I shout, remembering the feeling of Raph's fists slamming into me, the pain of each kick, the feeling of his hands around my throat...

April looks at me, tears rolling down her cheeks.

" Have a good night April...I have to go...my mother is waiting for me," I say as I walk to the window.

"Leo," whispers a voice I haven't heard in weeks, Don's voice. I stop and turn. Don is standing by the couch, staring at me, tears rolling down his cheeks. Raph walks up behind him, he's thin...horribly thin...so is Don...then I see Mikey he's hanging back, blue eyes pleading, he's trembling.

I start trembling. Flashing back to that night...the fight...the pain...the fear...I can't stop shaking...

"Leo I'm sorry," whispers Mikey, his voice sounds rusty like he hasn't spoken in weeks...

"Leo...please forgive me," Don sobs,"please...I didn't mean it...please...I'm sorry." I'm still shaking. Mikey comes forward and trys to hug me I pull away and move closer to the window...dreading his touch...they all hit me that night...

"Leo please...I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry! Please forgive me please! Please? Leo I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said please forgive me," Mikey pleads. He moves closer, I've stopped thinking and focus only on trying to breathe, trying to get away...I'm trapped in the memory of that night...a hand grabs my arm and I twist away. It takes a hold again and holds me firmly, but gently. I'm shocked as I'm pulled into a hug.

"I'm sorry Leo," Raph whispers, he's hugging me, holding me close.

"I'm so sorry bro," Raph whispers. Before I can stop I'm clinging to him and sobbing, two other pairs of hands wrap around me and I find myself held close. I don't know how long we sit there but soon I find the courage to look at my brothers. We've made amends, April is crying in relief, my heart has mended...I glance at the clock its almost midnight. My brothers are smiling a little, tears rolling down their cheeks. Mikey is clinging to me, like he'll never let go.

I pull away and turn.

"I have to go home," I whisper," thank-you."

"But!" Mikey protests. Don grabs my arm and looks at me despretely. Raph, to my shock, pulls me into a hug and refuses to let go.

"No, you ain't leav'n again," he sobs. I pull back and sigh.

"I have to Raph....I have to the kids are waiting for me to come back...my mother will be waiting for me to come home...come visit tomorrow...though...well...just watch out for the kids...dinner is at seven," I say softly. I hug them and then head for the window. Mikey whimpers as I start to go, I drag him into a tight hug and hold him.

"I love you Mikey," I whisper. He sobs and nods.

"I...want...you...to...come...home..." Mikey sobs. I hug him closer.

"My home is at New Hope now Mikey...my responsiblity is to you _and_ to those kids. Come over tomorrow and we'll work things out ok?" I whisper, Mikey nodded. I hug him tight and give Don a hug to, he's shaking and crying again I whisper comfort to him...I can't describe the way I feel how much I'm realived to know they love me. That the things they said were from frustration and grief...not hate...that they really were looking for me...

"Leo, I'll drive you," April says softly, "Its still pouring out." Before I can protest I'm being dragged down the stairs. Mikey and Donnie plant themselves at my side and Raph sits up front, he keeps turning around as if to make sure I'm there. I can't help but smile and I pull Mikey and Donnie close, wrapping my arms around them.

"April can I borrow your cell? I need to call mom," I ask softly.

"Mom?" Raph asks, he sounds startled.

"Sarah Johnson...she adopted me," I reply with a laugh," she's...my...mother...offically...adoption certificate...not the electronic ones...Bishop and Karai could track it...a paper one."

"Really? You have a mom?" Mike squeeks. I nod and take the offered phone and dial Sarah.

"Hey...yeah I'm on my way home...yeah..yeah...I'm fine...no I beat the rain...yes I have my sweatshirt...yes its on...no....April's driving me...yeah I'm great," I reply looking at me brothers.

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Whew...big chapter...ok Reviews Please?


	16. Chapter 16: Dinner

**Disclaimer: still no...**

***take a look at what the guys will look like as humans...**

***also pictures of my other OCs have links as well. **

**!!!!!!This Has 99 reviews!!!! YAY! "Jumps up and dances around"....unfortunatly I can't read them...for some reason they aren't showing up on the site..."Mumbles darkly"...hopefully the glitch will be gone soon...Please still review!!! I want to read them when the glitch gets fixed!!!!!!**

***Also- First Chapter of "Not the Same" will be up sometime today...be sure to take a look at the links for pictures.**

**Chapter 16: Dinner**

**Don's POV**

When we arrive the next night, we find Leo wrestling with a couple of teen boys, the other kids cheering him on. Mikey smiles when the kids jump up and down, screaming excitedly.

"Get him!!! Get him Reo!!! Yay!!!!"

A woman comes up to us and greets us.

"Hello, I'm Sarah Johnson," She greets. Mikey looks like he's going to have a heart attack. She smiles at Mike.

"Relax, the only reason I'd hurt any of you is if you break my son's heart again," Sarah said firmly.

We all flinch a little. I wince, Mikey told us what Sarah told him. I honestly don't blame her, we really hurt Leo...last night's five hours of crying, apologising, and healing were great. We got our brother back. When we first got there and heard what Leo said...I felt I don't even know how to describe it we never saw Leo cry before, never knew how sensitive he really was...how much he needed our support...last night I got a look at _Leo_ not Leonardo...I saw how much he wanted things right...wanted to be with us...wanted _needed _our love. I never knew how much he clung to us...my calm...Raph's strength...Mike's smile...he needed that...I never realized how much he just wanted us to spend time with him...heck...we all thought Leo spent most of his time training...and running...Leo cried when he ran alone...never knew that before...Leo poured his heart into training because he couldn't bear to lose us...when we turned on him...it would be the equilalent of ripping the harddrive out of a computer...imediate shut down...add that to the fact that he was depressed anyway...its no wonder he tried to commit sucide...

"Sa'a!!! Wo udr twrles?" a little boy asked as he tugged on Sarah's shirt. I realize I've been "Spacing off", watching Leo with those kids, laughing and enjoying himself...Leo is _laughing_. That was rare to hear at home...heck it was a miracle to get him to smile...I'm doing it again...

"Hi yua Twrle too!" the boy says suddenly, poking my thigh. I glance down and then drop into a squat at his level.

"Yes I'm a turtle too," I say gently, "What's your name?" He grins.

"Ia 'imy!!" he replies," Wa yurs?"

"Don," I reply, my full name would just confuse the poor kid," So you're Jimmy huh?"

He nods, "I free yrs old!!" he says proudly, holding up two fingers. I can't help but smile, this kid is cute! We all turn our attention to Leo and the teens when we hear a loud "ARRRGH!!". Leo is sitting down gripping his head. The boys and the other kids are looking anxious. Sarah moves that way quickly.

"Leo?" I hear her ask," You alright dear?" I get up and watch as she quickly examins the side of his head, anxious, Leo said his head was still healing...

"We didn't mean to!"

"It was an accident!"

"Leo Dude are you ok? I didn't mean to I promise! I was aiming for your shoulder!!" Leo is sitting still almost like he's stunned.

"I'm fine guys, my pills must be wearing off...geting close to needing to take the next dose anyway.." I hear Leo comfort quietly.

"Anna, go get Leo's pill case and a glass of water, carefully!" Sarah orders. A little girl with curly brown hair shoots off and then comes back a minute later. We've moved over to Leo. I'm kneeling next him now, Raph is crouched down and Mike has planted himself by Leo's side, I don't think he'll leave Leo's side the whole night...the kids are staring at us. Mikey hasn't stopped talking since last night and now is no exception., he's chattering in Leo's ear, smiling and practically bouncing with excitement.

"Mike, do me a favor," Leo mumbles.

"Yeah?" Mike says excitedly, a little too loud.

"Stop talking," Leo mumbles, rubbing the right side of his head. Raph chuckles and shakes his head and I can't help but grin. Mike pouts, but stops talking. Leo gives him a one armed hug. Anna hands Sarah the pill case and then after glaring at Mikey she plants herself in Leo's lap. Jimmy is standing next to Leo, looking like he's going to cry, he reachs for Leo making grabbing motions. Leo pulls him onto his lap as well. It seems to satisfy the boy. Anna keeps glaring at Mikey, who is still wraped in Leo's arm. Then it hits me...she thinks Leo is _her_ brother and no one can share him...except maybe Jimmy....awwww! I can't help but smile...Leo's got kids glued to him. Leo quickly takes the pills and washes them down with water. Sarah shakes her head at Anna and Jimmy but leaves them be.

"Well I'll check with Jeff to see how dinner is coming, have fun, Leo try not to move around to much, until the pills kick in," Sarah instructs.

Leo nods and after she leaves he dipps his head and whispers something to Anna, she grins and looks at him, he nods. She looks at me...

"GET 'EM!!!! she shrieks as she jumps up. The next thing I know all the kids attack me, Raph and Mikey. Leo is laughing hysterically as we attempt to escape the kids. Jimmy is giggling in Leo's lap.

I don't know how long we "fight off" kids but soon we are being seated at the table, Leo is sitting in between Jimmy and Anna, with Sarah at the head of the table. We are across from Leo, a kid between each of us. The little girl who has attached herself to Raph is chattering quietly, he looks like he's despretly attempting to stay calm. Mikey is talking to twins who are sitting on either side of him, they area ll talking excitedly. I seem to have become attatched to a twelve year old girl who is trying to converse with me...I keep confusing her unfortunatly...gotta stop doing that... The table gets quiet as plates are served. Sarah smiles at me as she hands me my plate, if I have to spend a few hours playing with kids to spend time with Leo...then I'll do it...he's my brother...I'm willing to do anything to spend time with him.

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Reviews Please? Let me know what you think of the guys as humans...be sure to look at Jimmy and Anna!!


	17. Chapter 17: Change

**Disclaimer: still no..except my OCs and the plot...**

**This has 103 reviews!!!! "YAY!!!!" Thanks to all my reviewers!! Be sure to take a look at "Not the Same" and "Protection will be coming soon for those of you following the "Defense" and "Offense" stories.**

**Also be sure to take a look at my drabble "Leo's Practice" its wonderful brotherly fluff between Raph and Leo.**

**Three chapters left for this story...**

**Chapter 17: Change**

**Raph's POV**

Change its part of life ya know? Either you accept it or you cling to the past and wish things were still that way...at first I was doing the later...clinging to how life was before Leo jumped, wanting things that way. Now I see Leo with these kids, see him smile and know, he belongs here...Leo always was a "mother hen" to us growing up...seeing him carrying Jimmy on one hip...seeing him read the younger kids a bed time story...seeing him simply telling the kids go to bed in his way...I see why Master Splinter choose him as leader...despite his bouts with depression...Leo was "born" to lead and take care of others. Jimmy is sound asleep right now, curled up on Leo's lap. His turtle blanket wrapped around him. Leo is rubbing Jimmy's back...I don't even think he knows he's doing it...

I'm willing to let things change now...Leo is happier than I've _ever _seen him. Leo will still go on patrol, still train with us...but he lives here now...his heart belongs with these kids...he loves us, its not like he stopped, but he loves these kids too...up and leaving them would break his heart...I can't do that to him again...never again...

"Earth to Raph!" Leo says loudly. I jump and glare at him half-heartly. He rolls his eyes and laughs, I realize they are all laughing at me. I can't resist grumbing angrily and crossing my arms over my plastron. Somehow Jimmy stays asleep.

"Shesh Raph, never seen you daydream before," Mikey teases. I growl.

"Shut-up Mike," I snarl, I don't mean it...after months of silence from him, its good to hear him talk...even if he is annoying. They all laugh softly.

"Leo? Would you go put Jimmy to bed?" Sarah asks softly. Leo nods and lifts Jimmy up as he stands. Cradleing him against his plastron and somehow keeping Jimmy wrapped in his blanket in the process. Jimmy wraps his arms around Leo's neck and clings to him. Leo smiles a little and carries him off toward the boys' wing of the sleeping quarters. I think of when Leo would wake up Mikey when he fell asleep on the couch and guide him to his bed. Its really the same..just a different person.

Leo comes back and before I know it we are leaving. I hug Leo on my way out. He seems surprised but hugs me back, I hear the soft sob that he trys to hide and hug him tighter.

"Love ya bro," I whisper,"Neva forgit dat." He nods and sighs, pulling back. I smile.

"See you guys for practice in the morning," Leo says after a minute. I nod and slip out following Mmikey and Donnie. As we are running I get the distinct felling that someone was watching me, but after searching for a while we find nothing and no one attacks us.

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Reivews? The Glitch is fixed now! YAY!!!!

Things are going to get interesting now...


	18. Chapter 18: Choices

**Disclaimer: still not the guys...OCs yes...**

**I'm borrowing a quote from the movie "Signs" by M. Night Shamalon (I know I spelled his name wrong don't kill me...)**

**Warning: sad chapter...**

**Chapter 18:Choices **

**Leo's POV**

After seeing my brothers off for the night I do the dishes and check in on the kids before heading to bed. My head aches a little but nothing serious, I'll be out in a few minutes anyway. I don't even remember laying down before I'm asleep. I wake to the felling that someone is watching me. I hear someone crying and roll over. Jimmy is sitting beside me looking terrified.

"Jim'y? Waz wrong?" I slur, still slightly asleep.

"Dares a mon'ser ow'sid my win'ow, can I hav a glass of wa'er?" he whimpers. I sigh and get up. He has nightmares a lot from what Sarah told me.

"Yeah bud come on," I sigh as I pick him up. He clings to me and sobs softly, I rub his back a little and then set him on the counter as I grab him a glass and fill it. He drinks it and then does the whole grabbing motionsthing to me until I pick him up. I hold him close as I take him back to his room, he's half asleep by the time we get there. I try to lay him down but he has his arms wrapped around my neck in a death grip, won't let go. I start to pull his arms off but he wakes up and begs me tolet him sleep with me. I sigh and relent. He curls up on my bed and I lay next to him. Jimmy snuggles close and I open one eye to check on him. He's fast asleep.

The old paranoia I grew up with won't let me sleep now though. After I'm sure Jimmy's asleep I grab my swords and slip out into the hall. There are a few monsters I don't want to see around here. I make my rounds and search carefully for any sign of a ninja in the darkness. I notice that the alarm has been turned off...I _know_ I activated it before I laid down...now I'm nervous...

Suddenly all the lights flip on and I whirl around, Sarah is standing with a Foot ninja holding a blade to her throat, the kids are clinging to each other surounded by more ninjas. Jimmy is next to Sarah, looking terrified. i realize i've whipped my swords out and I'm in a defensive stance.

A ninja steps forward, draggind Jimmy with him. Jimmy is crying and is definatly scared. My grip on my swords tightens. I don't need this.

"Mistress Karai requests your attendence to a meeting," He says firmly. I growl and tense.

The ninja moves fast, too fast, his blade flashes quick and blood spurts, Jimmy gags and tries to scream. Blood is everywhere. Jimmy sinks to the ground.

"You are coming with us, or more die," he hisses. Something snaps in me, the sight of Jimmy writhling on the ground, struggling to breathe.

I charge the ninja with a scream and attack him with everything I have.

"Thwy will die if you don't come," the ninja laughs. My blade catches his throat and I feel his blood spray onto me. I twist toward the others, the kids look scared, Sarah has the blade pressed against her throat, a thin line of blood trickling down. Realization slams into me. I'm shaking now...

"Drop your swords or she dies," hisses the ninja behind Sarah. My swords hit the ground, I'm terrifingly calm.

"Bind him," the ninja hisses. My arms are dragged behind me and tied so tight I can barely feel my fingers. the last hing I see is Jimmy's body, the blood on the ground around him, and Sarah crying. A black hood drops over my head and something hard hits the back of my head. I hear the kids crying and Sarah say my name...then nothing.

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Whew...Ok I will be gone from he 16th to the 18th...and school starts on the 20th for me so my updates will not be as often...most likely they will be weekly or bi-weekly....

Please Review!!!


	19. Chapter 19: Love

**Disclaimer: nothin but my Oc's and the plot...**

**One Chapter Left!**

**Chapter 19: Love **

**Mikey's POV**

I'm jerked awake but Raph shaking me, he's saying something but I'm not all the way awake so I can't make out what he's saying.

"Wah?" I manage.

"Get up, the Foot just took Leo and Anna from the orphanage," I hear Raph order. I'm awake instantly.

"What? They just? But?" I stammer as I scramble out of bed and follow Raph. I can hear Don trying to calm someone down on the phone.

Raph grabs his Sais and starts flipping them frantically. He does that when he's nervous or upset.

"Sarah, Sarah we'll...we'll be there in a minute...just calm down...Sarah...call an ambulence...we'll be there...Sarah we're on our way, we're coming," Don sauys quickly. He grabs his "bag of goodies", filled with all kinds of little inventions. He looks ticked.

"They killed Jimmy in front of Leo," he spits. My breath catches and I stumble back in shock, the little boy that clung to Leo?

"They? Oh Leo," I breathe, too stunned to move. I hear Raph's fist slam into the table.

"They told him they'd kill all the kids one by one if he didn't come with, they threatened Sarah's life too, he let them take him, they tied him up and everything, Sarah said they beat him in front of the kids before they took him away," Don said bitterly.

I'm shaking and I can hear Raph breathing like he does when he's mad. I'm mad too, but I'm more worried about Leo at this point, is he going to be ok after seeing that? I'm scared that Leo might lose it again, what do you call it? Have a relapse? Yeah that's it. What if he loses it completely?

They're telling me to move, that we have to go. When we get there Sarah is sobbing and Jeff is trying to calm the kids down. I see a sheet covering what must be Jimmy. I can smell the blood, the kids' fear.

Sarah looks up and rushes to us. Don hugs her and gets the information we need, then we slip out as Sarah calls for an abulence. I spot the teen boys who hung out with Leo earlier, they look just as scared as the little ones. I stop and nod to them.

"We'll bring him and Anna back," I whisper, I'm surprised at how fierce I sound. They nod. It seems like hours later when we reach Foot headquarters, we've know where it was for months, Master Splinter died before we could wipe them out for good, then Leo...yeah...

I don't even remember going in, I don't remember anything but finding Leo chained to the wall, covered in brusies and blood, a little girl, Anna, sprawled on the floor about a foot away from him, sobbing and the foot ninja with the blade at her throat. Leo's eyes are open and glazed over, he looks like he's struggling to stay sane. Anna looks like she's been beaten, and there is blood in her hair and on her night shirt.

**Don's POV**

It feels like the air has been ripped from my lungs at the sight of that little girl on the ground and Leo chained to the wall. Then I see the ninja looking at me and I realize he's laughing. Leo looks up and stares only for a moment.

"RUN!" he screams and throws himself against the chains and into the approaching ninja. I see a red and green blur and then the ninja is sprawled on the ground, his neck broken. I hear others coming. Raph breaks Leo's chains and drags him into a fireman carry. I find myself scooping up Anna and holding her to my plastron, pressing her face into my shoulder. Mikey is sprinting ahead, clearing a path, or at least trying. We stop and Raph lowers Leo to his feet, I watch ehlplessly as Leo tries to get us to leave, he's saying something frantically but I can't make it out, it doesn't look like Raph can either. I gasp when Leo stops talking and I see we are surounded by a sea of black-clad ninjas. Karai is standing above us grinning.

"Well, Leonardo it seems your brothers came to me," Karai laughs. Anna whimpers and clings to me. I feel a werid sense of calm and feel as if soemthing is going to happen, something big, something that will change the course of the rest of our lives. Then to my horror I see a blur of green and blue shoot toward Karai, hear "RUN!" and see Leo hit Karai and hear the explosion, feel the flames against my carapace as I sheild Anna and run for the exit. Where did Leo get the bomb? Did Leo survive that? could he have survived that?

I know Anna didn't see anythign I haven't let her move her head from my shoulder. I hear her asking for Leo, sobbing, I can smell her fear. I spot Raph and Mikey they are staring at the burning building, then to my horror I see Raph sprint toward the flames, looking more determined than I've ever seen him, he's going after Leo.

**Raph's POV**

I scramble through those flames, Leo's words repeating in my head.

_You have to leave me!!! Get out!! Please Raph! Please!! You have to leave me...a bomb...Raph get out!! Please!!_

I saw it when he ran for Karai, saw the timer under his carapace, it was just under the area by this shoulders, wrapping around the front under his plastron. They worked the bomb into his body, they knew we were in the building, they timed it for how long we were going to be allowed to get out, Leo hit the detonator in Karai's hand. Setting it off early. He threw himself at her to save us. I just hope somehow he survived that, even if its only long enough for us to say good-bye. I spot him under a pile of rubble, covered in blood and struggling to breathe. I gasp at what is left of his upper body, and shutter as I gather him up. I feel his ribs, whats left of them against my hands, his lungs, black and struggling to take in air, they feel like sponges. There is a hole where his heart was, and part of his lungs are missing. He's saying something. His carapace is broken, cracked and fallling apart. There is a huge hole in his chest...my stomach twists. How is he alive?

I finally hear what he's saying,"Love you...ta-ta-take care of them..."

I fight tears as he takes one last struggled breath and goes limp in my arms. I know what he means, both our brothers and those kids. I pull Leo close and press hi face against my shoulder. Tears roll down my cheeks as I stumble out of the building. Mikey screams when he sees Leo, Don just closes his eyes and clutches Anna, he won't let her look, won't let her see. I wish I couldn't see, Mikey is next to me, screaming and sobbing, I'm covered in Leo's blood.

"Leo!! OH MY GOD!!! LEO!!" Mikey is screaming. I struggle to stay calm...weirdly I manage it.

"Mikey, go find a blanket off a laundry line we can wrap him in," I hear myself say, I don't remember even thinking it...my voice sounds weird, so calm...the anger I sould be feeling isn't there.

**Leo's POV**

I knew the minute I woke to find that thing in my body, I wasn't going home alive. I knew when they tortured Anna and demanded to know where my brothers lived it was only an act, I was dying today. When my brothers came in I foudn Raph taking me, the bomb I could feel it preparing to go, I could hear the timmer, slowly beeping down the seconds. When I got Raph to put me down I tried to get him to leave me...naturally he wouldn't. When Karai showed up I happily complied with the urge to throw myself at her. Suicide is a funny thing....some do it from pain and anger, I tried it once...others do it for love...some call it being a hero...never thought I'd be one...

I vaguely remember Raph lifting me up. The last thing I remember is telling Raph I loved him asking him to take care of them...all those I've come to love...I feel a strange sense of peace and let go. The pain is gone...

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Reviews Please? I'm back...I'll finish this story up tomorrow and "Protection" will be started up. For those of you who haven't read "Defense" or "Offense" read those first if you are interested in "Protection".


	20. Chapter 20: Rememberance

**Disclaimer: only my OCs and the plot, not the cannon characters.**

**Chapter 20: Rememberance**

**Raph's POV**

I buried my brother this morning, said good-bye and poured the dirt over him. April and Casey let us bury him out at the farm. He liked it out here, a lot. I read his journal the other day, he liked being able to see the stars, walk in the woods, it reminined him a little of Latin America. I'm kneeling by his grave right now, saying my final farewell, I'll be back I know we all will. We'll leave the white roses he mentioned in his journal, never knew Leo like flowers, heh...I would've made fun of him for that...not anymore...he liked to take care of plants...April said she'll get a rose bush and plant it beside Leo's grave...I'll have to remind her to get white roses...

I put my hand on the dirt below me and look at the gravestone. Its a simple black headstone, April bought it for him, carved into it is.

_Hamato Leonardo "Leo" Johnson_

_"Fearless Leader"_

_Beloved brother, son, and friend._

_May your path be straight and true, may you find peace..._

_1989-2010_

_Heroes are discovered often in death, when they give theirs lives to protect, the memory they leave behind never fades out...they follow us in shadow, always watching over us._

I fight tears, Leo died three days before his twenty-first birthday, we had something big planned for him this year, we got caught up in planning it last year that we forgot his birthday then, I guess that's when he started to fall apart...Sarah wept when I brought Leo home, Anna was rushed to the hospital, nothing serious by some miracle, the other kids were really shook when they found out that Leo wasn't going to wake up, the younger ones didn't get it at first...Anna kept asking for him even as we buried him, I...I had to tell her Leo was gone, he wasn't coming back...it broke my heart, Sarah had already tried to tell her, she didn't want to believe me...it wasn't untill she saw me and Don lower Leo's casket into the ground that she realized Leo wasn't coming back. Mikey just hugged her and held on. They cried together...Usagi came to say good-bye...so did Traximus...I swear there wasn't a single dry eye in the place. It was closed casket, due to the damage to Leo's body...I remember Don sobbing as he cleaned Leo's body the night before...we wanted him to look like himself as much as possible before we buried him. I look up and see the stars above me.

We buried Leo in his favorite clearing...I guess he'd come out here when we were asleep...he'd just sit and listen to the forest...just watch the stars...I feel a breeze brush against me and my eyes widen...I smell the insense Leo burned when he meditated...I look around...I don't see anything...but the sent remains...Leo's still looking out for us...

"I promise I'll take care of them bro," I whisper and stand up. I feel the breeze brush against me and then the air grows still, the sent fades and I let the tears fall.

"Good-bye Bro," I whisper. I turn and head back to the farm house, I have a few new family members to look after...

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"sob" Ok....please review...this is the last chapter...


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